It's rude to look a gift horse in the mouth, but... On Monday I got a call asking if I'd edit a manuscript. Within five minutes, the densest tome ever written appeared in my inbox. I printed off the first twenty pages. I'm still not past page three. It's not editing that's needed. It's a rewrite. And the pruning of 30,000 words... A second tome arrives in the post tomorrow. Written by a woman who wants to have it featured on Richard and Judy. As Ian McEwan has trouble getting onto R&J, I am somewhat bemused. I've got lots of book projects. I could pay you a retainer and you could help with them all, she emailed. The gift horse was looking distinctly Trojan. Let me read it before I comment, I replied, surlily, if there is such a word. The only words I'd welcome are those on my new letterhead. Which should have been printed today. But for a continuing problem with pantones... Unfulfilled, I skived off for lunch with an old mate and we put the world to rights over organic salad and caramel crunch cheesecake. "Designer letterhead and only one contract? Isn't that putting the cart before the horse?" she asked. "It's funny you should mention horses," I replied;-)