Three years ago the kids and I went to the Mayhew Animal Home to get a puppy. "We've only got bitches," one of the handlers said, "and you need a dog. That way you've got a man of the house balancing your hormones." Somewhat nonplussed, we went home to wait - my eldest with some relief as she's not a dog fan. Clearly every beast to whom our details were shown bared his teeth and ran, because they've never called. This evening, we serendipitously found ourselves puppysitting. My eldest initially avoided the little mutt, but the youngest and I were entranced. Within minutes of arrival however, I was cleaning up both numbers one and two in the kitchen. Over a four hour period she continued to be prolific, most heinously on the sitting room rug. When she had a yapping fit during The Apprentice, I was ready to commit hari kari. "You're right," I said to the eldest, "We really don't need a dog." "Oh" she said, scratching it's head, "I was just thinking I'd really like one."